Matters that matter.

Wherever you look there are self help books, motivational sayings and things designed to make you say "Yes!  That's me!  Let me dissolve my negativity by smiling at people/helping the less fortunate/consciously replacing anger with joy. . ."   While this is possible in some circumstances, it is not in others.  A recurring issue recurs because it has not been dealt with.  As simple as that.  Writing it down and burning it is a nice distraction, but essentially it amounts to avoiding the problem.  (Unless you are pretty certain the universe will bend and whisper into the relevant ear.)  Speaking about it helps far better, but what if the person with whom you need to address the issue will not listen without turning it all around?  Convoluting your words and making you wish you had never brought up your gripe in the first place?  Causing you to feel stupid and humiliated?  It may well be that your problem seems petty, but it is your take on things.  You feel something about it and you have every right to.  There are self help books on how to communicate too.  Listen, understand and formulate your response or something like that.  Supposedly you can tell someone to go to hell in a loving way. . .  I digress.  Issues breed resentment and the longer the issue festers, the greater the resentment.  A calm and rational discussion, as touted in the self help books, is seldom viable in these cases.  The solution for many is to avoid conflict and try to pretend it doesn't matter.  Some braver souls opt for confrontation and end with a war.  A war which doesn't clear the air because the initial subject has been drowned in vitriolic spewing.  It is not about agreeing with or kowtowing to another.  It is about respect for and listening to an opinion on a matter that matters.