A re-evaluation.

I have spent the last few days re-evaluating what I would like from friendship.  I am essentially a loner, a very private person, but I do enjoy stimulating conversation, a good laugh and that warm and fuzzy feeling friendship should bring.  I have an egg cup full of friends I feel safe with, who I trust to share my concerns with.  I tend to be wary of people in general so these people are precious gems in my life.  I have found that more and more people are in it to win it, to stomp all over the sensitivities of others to gain attention for themselves.  I wrote a blog about how people use carefully placed words to bully others, but recently I was shocked to find that their actions too are a cleverly crafted game of like me, like me, like me.  I noticed this because human behaviour is of great interest to me.  I ponder over why something doesn't feel right.  I try and work out what the desired effect from an action may be. What I will no longer tolerate is "friends" who only need you when they are needy, who abuse your trust by gossipping or sharing your vulnerabilities, who, after being given chance after chance, still repeat the same behaviour, who infiltrate your circle of friends and micro-manage them in a way that puts you at a disadvantage, who demean, criticise or otherwise make you feel inferior, sad or bad.  There is a saying "What you allow, will continue."   Don't allow anyone to feed off your good energy.  If it doesn't feel right, there is something wrong.  Trust your instinct.  Sometimes, even though it is hard to say goodbye, it will be the best thing you ever did.