If the tables were turned.

Over the years, while caring for patients both in the ambulance and hospital environment, I have felt for them being in the vulnerable position of illness or hurt, having to rely on strangers for help.  I always tried to be as empathetic as I could by mentally putting myself into their shoes.  I often wondered how it would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. I know, only too well, the feeling of being "shut out" when I am not in paramedic mode and medical staff, unaware of what I do, look at me in that "tone of voice" when I start asking questions. Being a patient must be so scary if you are not au fait with medical terms and nothing is explained, as often it isn't, but I wonder how much more scary it would be if you are knowledgeable?   When you know how things work, the usual treatment and prognosis of various diseases?  What if you are only too aware of euphemisms used and what they really mean?  An injury, as debilitating as it may be, heals eventually, but a disease like cancer tends to be unpredictably fickle in responding to treatment.  I wonder if it would be better to be ignorant as a patient?  With a potentially life-threatening diagnosis, which for some is just a string of scary-sounding words, people are sent home to dwell on their possible life-changing situation while they wait on test results.  What goes through their minds?   Is this as bad as it sounds, am I going to have to have bits of me removed, will my family cope, will I suffer, am I going to die? Most people can't help but think about the worst case scenario and as an experienced paramedic, would it be more acute? Suddenly a person becomes a body in a blue gown, poked and prodded, x-rayed and biopsied. Medical staff, and I generalise, although trained to be caring and smiley, don't seem to see past the condition. The stark personal reality of the fear-filled being is often neglected. Choice is, to a large extent, removed. The chasm between doctors, in their mystical medical world and the patient, is high-lighted. I, personally, do not agree with giving people "time left to live", as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Too often people live for almost exactly the amount of time they have been given. I wonder why that is allowed and positivity is not encouraged? It is after all incredible how powerful the mind is and if it is understood that the mind manifests illness, it would stand to reason that the mind can heal the body as well.