On friendship.

Friendship is a necessary part of the human condition.  Having a true friend for life, Im sure, is an uplifting experience.  When I was a child, my sister and I were discouraged from having friends, I think in part due to my dad's illness and possibly because my mother found fault with anyone who did not meet her standards.  My sister and I had each other and we were a unit, but it made it difficult for me to learn what making friends outside of our unit was about.  I suppose that is why I became more of a loner.  I have made friends now, but I have no lingering childhood friends because of this.  It seems the more friends you have, the more popular you are seen to be, judging by the trends on Facebook.  As far as I am concerned, Facebook friends are a collection of trophies on a wall, they do not reflect true friendship.  I do not have many Facebook friends, but the ones I do have, bring positivity into my life. I prefer to sit and talk to my friends, face to face, just be myself warts and all.  Friendship is a work in progress.  One cannot sit back on one's laurels and just let a friendship be.  If this is so, it is a one of a kind.  Usually a friendship is a two way street.  It is about understanding and compromise, communication, ease of being and empathy.  Some friendships are difficult and require a lot of imput.  These are usually a one way street and are not healthy.  Often they fizzle out relatively quickly because one party is needy and puts conditions on friendship, but sometimes that ending can take years.  A well adjusted person knows what they will tolerate in a friendship and strives to maintain that position, but at times people will hang on to a toxic friendship because it is uncomfortably comfortable.  People will tolerate constant negativity, bad behaviour, skewed ideologies or even abuse in the quest to be liked.  If eventually the friendship ends, whether due to growing apart, an unresolvable issue or a conscious decision, a void exists, as it is with endings. Time always tells.  If, after the dust settles an unusual calm decends, that friendship was in fact meant to end. Thank the person quietly from your heart for the lessons they taught you during your time with them and move on.